Test day.

I awoke test day to discover I was no longer bleeding. Not even a spot. By memory I had bled for about 2.5 days. My period normally lasts for 5-7 days. With this in mind I believed I had had my first ever pregnancy quickly followed by my first ever miscarriage.

The clinic had told me I was still to go in for my pregnancy test. They have to follow procedure through to the test. Then it would be over. My appointment wasn’t until later that day, so I dressed and went back downstairs to face the crazed shoppers. The morning passed in a foggy blur. I suppose it was good to be busy.

I had presumed I would go in for my blood / urine test and be told the result then and there. Nope. The nurse was lovely though. She asked how I was feeling and then apologised when I reported the bleeding etc. She took my blood and we talked about how soon we could try again with a frozen transfer. She told me I would get a call by 5pm regardless of the result.


A frozen embryo transfer (FET) is a cycle where a frozen embryo from a previous fresh IVF cycle is thawed and transferred back into a woman’s uterus. This means you won’t have to undergo another cycle of hormone stimulation and an egg collection. Frozen embryo cycles can be undertaken on your natural cycle or using hormone preparation, or ovulation induction.

Tick tock, tick tock. It seemed like they were never going to call. I knew it was going to be a negative and yet waiting for the call was excruciating.

The clinic called at 4.55pm.

The nurse said. “Hi Jessica, you are pregnant.”

My world stopped. We had been trying for so long. We had gone through so much. I had peed on so many sticks always longing to see the word PREGNANT. I had imagined countless times what it would be like sharing the news with Tristan. How happy we would be.

I can’t even describe how it felt to hear YOU ARE PREGNANT. Then came the but. She went on to tell me that my levels were low and that I had to come in again in 48hrs and be re-tested. She explained that my levels would need to double in order for it to be considered a viable pregnancy. If they didn’t double then what had registered was just traces of a lost pregnancy.

I remember asking her if I should be happy? Could I still be in with a chance? What about the bleeding? She told me some women experience bleeds throughout their entire pregnancy. She said I could be happy that my body had shown pregnancy was possible…

47.5 hours to go.

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