I’m sorry too

13.10.18

I went to a skin clinic in Rouse Hill this afternoon. Had my first ever hydro dermabrasion treatment. It was amazing. Thank you Gehle!

The therapist a complete stranger started chatting to me.

Beauty therapist: “Nice ring. When did you get married?”

Me: “Thank you. 2014.”

Beauty therapist: “Oh nice, do you have kids?”

Me: “Ummm nope.”

Beauty therapist: “You’ve been married a while. Do you plan on having some?”

Me: “We can’t.”

She must have legit shat her pants because she didn’t say a single thing in reply. Not sorry for being a complete ding bat. Not sorry for being the 1 millionth person to stick a rusty fork in your eye. Not sorry for having the confidence to pry but zero confidence to apologise when things didn’t go down like she thought.

But hey I didn’t fill the silence either. So I’m sorry I got a little satisfaction out of your discomfort. I’m sorry I didn’t have the energy to say we are doing IVF rather than we simply can’t have kids. I was there for a facial not to fill you in on all of the shit Offspring got wrong during their IVF focused episodes. I’m sorry that throughout your adolescence NO ONE told you having children isn’t always a given. That babies aren’t made each and every time you have sex without protection. I’m sorry I didn’t for the sake of my fellow childless mums say “Hey I’m sorry that got awkward. I don’t want you to feel bad. I just want you to remember this conversation when you next go to ask someone something personal.”

Tonight the below link appeared on my Facebook feed. I cried a lot. They weren’t exactly tears of sadness but tears of understanding. I understand and am understood. Thank you Hannah. I couldn’t have said it better.

Oh and in case you are worried. Yes I cry a lot. But I promise I also smile and laugh a lot too. I know I’m not the only one battling something. We’ve all got our struggles. That beauty therapist included.

https://letstalkme.blog/2018/09/23/to-the-childless-mums/

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