We had actually made it to transfer. It was happening. A little teeny tiny blastocyst made from bits of me “hopefully my eyes” and bits of Tristan “hopefully his long legs” was going to be placed ever so carefully inside my uterus to miracle above all miracles become our baby. SPIN OUT!
I’d been taking all my pre-pregnancy vitamins. Tristan was 98% beer free “a story for another day.” I had been drinking more bone broth than anyone should have to in their lifetime, and visiting three eyed Anni every week. We were ready!
A good quality blastocyst is extremely precious, extremely fragile, and oh so small. Measuring merely 0.1-0.2mm.
I was VERY conscious of our blastocysts fragility. And as I’ve mentioned previously I kind of skated through round one not really knowing what to do or expect. Round two however had me making gang signs. I was SUPER committed to doing everything within my power to get our baby.
There is a tonne of information out there. So many dos and don’ts. The inter-webs are a scary black hole. I read of women doing some pretty crazy shit. But hey no judgement here!
I was focused on taking a more holistic approach than we had round one. I was under the care of Anni. I had changed my diet, my exercise regime, even the amount of sex I would have and when. I was living and breathing baby making. This was hard. Many doctors and nurses openly roll their eyes when you mention herbs or the pineapple core you packed to consume post transfer “old wife’s tale.” I now also understand why some relationships don’t survive IVF. Not just couples but friendships, relationships with family members. Even work relationships. I suppose it’s like any hardship. No one truly understands unless they have been through it themselves.
At the start of round one our clinic had given us a little information pack. One of the sheets was a list of instructions they recommended you follow on embryo transfer day. I don’t have the sheet anymore but I remember it advising against the use of scented / chemical laden personal care items such as shampoo, body wash, and perfume.
I researched this a little obsessively. There is a lot of documentation suggesting vapours and or residing chemicals can damage the embryo whilst it’s being handled on transfer day. In fact, some articles even talk about air quality within a clinics lab effecting pregnancy success rates. One particular article I read spoke about a US clinic with rather high success rates that later changed locations and suffered poorer results. The building they had moved to was brand new and researchers believe the fumes from the glue used to lay all the flooring was to blame… “see what I mean about the scary black hole.”
I also found quite a lot of articles recommending you lesson if not completely avoid all chemicals whilst trying to conceive naturally and or with the help of IVF. Personal care items, cleaning products, processed foods. The lot. Anni was an advocate of this approach as well. So I did my best.
I suppose I am telling you all of this to help you understand why I feel so upset and angered by how our transfer went. I’d put us through an awful lot to get us to transfer. It shouldn’t have gone down like it did.